Why do some people find it very difficult to forgive? This can be explained through a syndrome called the 'emotional broken arm', which is based from a book on marriage counseling. When your spouse hurts you emotionally, sometimes you can't understand why that act was committed against you and to fully understand this, open your mind on the subject matter of emotional broken arm.
When you're whole as a person and something comes up, you take it with a grain of salt. You don't have the tendency to react negatively to the situation. In some instances, you could talk to your spouse and be open that you have been hurt emotionally, but not to the level of heavy confrontation. You could argue, but not in a calm manner where you can peacefully talk things out and resolve the problem. However, when you've got an emotional broken arm, your reaction is usually less subdued to the point of intense argument and confrontation.
What Causes It?
What causes emotional broken arm? Based on the book on marriage counseling, this usually stems from a negative experience from the past wherein the person was subjected to a deep emotional pain - either from childhood past or from previous relationships.
There are a couple of issues in the past that haven't been completely resolved which led to this emotional broken arm. The person then learns to have a defensive act each time arguments arise between couples.
So every time a mistake is committed on the person with an emotional broken arm, that person breaks down easily and usually bursts with extreme reactions. There may be explosive confrontations which usually lead to unresolved conflicts, according to the book on marriage counseling. It is difficult to have a smooth conversation when one of the spouses is in a state of extreme anger which usually leads to saying things that even worsen the situation. The emotional broken arm can be resolved by:
* Understanding your spouse's emotional broken arm
When you are faced with a scenario of conflict, try to understand where your spouse is coming from. Try to be very calm and avoid being emotional, yourself. This will even heat up the argument and instead of resolving your conflict, it is all the more that it will lead to deeper hurts and inability to forgive and move on. In the marriage counseling book, it is stated that you have to be very understanding of your spouse's shortcomings, and this includes the emotional broken arm.
* Controlling your emotional broken arm
If you are the one who has the issue of emotional broken arm, try your very best to be less emotional and confrontational. Anger management is the key to a successful marriage. It is not easy to calm down your own demons, but if you persevere for the sake of saving your marriage, then you will reach that point of being objective when confronted with a marital dispute.
Marriage counseling is a good way to understand yourself and your spouse's shortcomings. If faced with marital disputes, the best way to handle it is to stay calm and remain objective.
When you're whole as a person and something comes up, you take it with a grain of salt. You don't have the tendency to react negatively to the situation. In some instances, you could talk to your spouse and be open that you have been hurt emotionally, but not to the level of heavy confrontation. You could argue, but not in a calm manner where you can peacefully talk things out and resolve the problem. However, when you've got an emotional broken arm, your reaction is usually less subdued to the point of intense argument and confrontation.
What Causes It?
What causes emotional broken arm? Based on the book on marriage counseling, this usually stems from a negative experience from the past wherein the person was subjected to a deep emotional pain - either from childhood past or from previous relationships.
There are a couple of issues in the past that haven't been completely resolved which led to this emotional broken arm. The person then learns to have a defensive act each time arguments arise between couples.
So every time a mistake is committed on the person with an emotional broken arm, that person breaks down easily and usually bursts with extreme reactions. There may be explosive confrontations which usually lead to unresolved conflicts, according to the book on marriage counseling. It is difficult to have a smooth conversation when one of the spouses is in a state of extreme anger which usually leads to saying things that even worsen the situation. The emotional broken arm can be resolved by:
* Understanding your spouse's emotional broken arm
When you are faced with a scenario of conflict, try to understand where your spouse is coming from. Try to be very calm and avoid being emotional, yourself. This will even heat up the argument and instead of resolving your conflict, it is all the more that it will lead to deeper hurts and inability to forgive and move on. In the marriage counseling book, it is stated that you have to be very understanding of your spouse's shortcomings, and this includes the emotional broken arm.
* Controlling your emotional broken arm
If you are the one who has the issue of emotional broken arm, try your very best to be less emotional and confrontational. Anger management is the key to a successful marriage. It is not easy to calm down your own demons, but if you persevere for the sake of saving your marriage, then you will reach that point of being objective when confronted with a marital dispute.
Marriage counseling is a good way to understand yourself and your spouse's shortcomings. If faced with marital disputes, the best way to handle it is to stay calm and remain objective.
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