Almost every adult has experienced a break up sometime during their life, and most of the time they just learn how to move on.But what if you're not one of those people that likes to play the victim? You want your ex back and you're willing to do a little work to make it happen. That's a good and smart choice.Fact is, around 90% of all break ups can be reversed...if you know the steps you need to take to win back your ex. We'll talk about some of those in a second, but first I want to point out that you'll find some amazing resources down at the bottom of this article. These are the best sites I've found at laying out a step-by-step, easy to follow game plan for getting back together. You owe it to yourself to take a look.
It's time to ask yourself what you truly want and why you want your ex back in your arms? Do love them more than life itself? If so you must do your best to contain emotions and avoid irrational behavior and impulsive thoughts. Do not resort to sheer acts of desperation such as guilt and manipulation tactics!Okay, I know you don't want to hear this right now but you need to accept the fact that your relationship is over, for the time being of course. What you do right now will shape your chances to get your ex back. Show your ex you respect and care for them by accepting their decision.
The next step is to make sure you don't make yourself seem needy. Even though almost everyone feels like they need to express to their ex that they cannot live without them, there is no point in telling them that. Instead stay strong, let your ex see that you are okay by yourself, and show everyone around you that you have self confidence and you are happy with yourself. Seeming needy or desperate will only push your ex further away, so make sure to maintain your confidence to get him to crawl right back to you.
It does not have to be an expensive one. You can get good discounts on clothing even at your local shops. I stress on this self-image point because it has not only to do with how people see you, but it also has to do with how you see yourself. Do you see yourself as a winner or a loser? Do you see yourself as half empty or half full? Do you think that your relationship with your ex is something that can be salvaged or not? If you think it can, then it will. It all depends on what you think is possible. Start taking proper care of yourself from today and I assure you that you will be happy you did.
Stop being needy. Always remember this: a hungry dog doesn't get fed! Nobody wants to be around a needy person. It's hard-wired into our brains to align with people who have higher survival value and stay away from needy people. While it is possible to make your ex take you back out of pity, it's not what we are trying to accomplish here. You want your ex to be attracted to you again, not to feel sorry for you.
Get your life back. It's time to call your old friends that you've probably neglected lately. Do it right now. Start having massive fun. Note that this is not some feel good advice. Being happy on your own is very important if you want to attract people into your life, and, most important, to get your ex back. So, make sure you put your life in order.
Of course, there are some things you need to change about your attitude so that you will strengthen your case in front of your ex-girlfriend. She dumped you; therefore, there is something that she was dissatisfied about in the relationship. You're going to need to change that. I can't figure these flaws out for you because I don't have an idea of what your previous relationship was like, but I can disclose to you five of the most common myths about breakups that a lot of people consider to be true but are actually with no basis.
Contact your ex. If your ex doesn't contact you after 4 weeks, you can contact them and have a light conversation. There are a few steps you need to do before actually contacting your ex. You'll easily find them in the materials I will give you (check the resources at the bottom of this article). Avoid talking about your past relationship. Don't ask your ex if they are dating someone new and don't brag about how many people you are sleeping with or dating (that's lame... only losers brag). Just keep it light while avoiding any arguments. Also, be cool and don't let them think you're desperate to see them.
Of course you should be sad! You are not a robot; it's okay to be depressed because of a breakup. We are talking about real emotions here, real memories wasted because of disagreements and irreconcilable differences. You should grieve about the breakup before you can finally truly get over it.What is unacceptable, however, is making it obvious to your ex how sad you are. If you're on the process of figuring out how to get your ex back, then you shouldn't be showing weakness and desperation in front of your ex. You can grieve, but grieve silently. Be depressed discreetly. Open up to a few trusted friends about the situation, but not to everyone.Did you know that almost all breakups involve a third party of some sort? It can be a very real possibility that your ex broke up with you because she already found someone else; she just didn't want the hassle of being called a "whore" or a "slut" by being together with two men at the same time, so she broke up with you. Not acting immediately to retrieve your lost relationship will only reduce your chances to zero. So, really, don't believe this hoopla about "being patient" or "giving it time". You have to act as soon as you've broken up.
That is not to say that you won't give your ex some space. You should, but only for a few days. When the dust has finally settled, try talking to her and telling her of your plan to get the relationship back. This will take her off guard and will stunt the possibility of her getting together with another guy.This is the biggest lie in the book in my opinion. We have mentioned already in the article that the main reason for breakups is a third party - if you let your ex-girlfriend see you seemingly happy on dates with someone else, then she will be convinced all the more that the breakup was for the better. She will then pursue her new relationship seeing that you've already moved on. So, in reality, this plan will backfire from the get go. Don't make her jealous - instead, show how committed and loyal you are to the relationship by not seeing other people
It's time to ask yourself what you truly want and why you want your ex back in your arms? Do love them more than life itself? If so you must do your best to contain emotions and avoid irrational behavior and impulsive thoughts. Do not resort to sheer acts of desperation such as guilt and manipulation tactics!Okay, I know you don't want to hear this right now but you need to accept the fact that your relationship is over, for the time being of course. What you do right now will shape your chances to get your ex back. Show your ex you respect and care for them by accepting their decision.
The next step is to make sure you don't make yourself seem needy. Even though almost everyone feels like they need to express to their ex that they cannot live without them, there is no point in telling them that. Instead stay strong, let your ex see that you are okay by yourself, and show everyone around you that you have self confidence and you are happy with yourself. Seeming needy or desperate will only push your ex further away, so make sure to maintain your confidence to get him to crawl right back to you.
It does not have to be an expensive one. You can get good discounts on clothing even at your local shops. I stress on this self-image point because it has not only to do with how people see you, but it also has to do with how you see yourself. Do you see yourself as a winner or a loser? Do you see yourself as half empty or half full? Do you think that your relationship with your ex is something that can be salvaged or not? If you think it can, then it will. It all depends on what you think is possible. Start taking proper care of yourself from today and I assure you that you will be happy you did.
Stop being needy. Always remember this: a hungry dog doesn't get fed! Nobody wants to be around a needy person. It's hard-wired into our brains to align with people who have higher survival value and stay away from needy people. While it is possible to make your ex take you back out of pity, it's not what we are trying to accomplish here. You want your ex to be attracted to you again, not to feel sorry for you.
Get your life back. It's time to call your old friends that you've probably neglected lately. Do it right now. Start having massive fun. Note that this is not some feel good advice. Being happy on your own is very important if you want to attract people into your life, and, most important, to get your ex back. So, make sure you put your life in order.
Of course, there are some things you need to change about your attitude so that you will strengthen your case in front of your ex-girlfriend. She dumped you; therefore, there is something that she was dissatisfied about in the relationship. You're going to need to change that. I can't figure these flaws out for you because I don't have an idea of what your previous relationship was like, but I can disclose to you five of the most common myths about breakups that a lot of people consider to be true but are actually with no basis.
Contact your ex. If your ex doesn't contact you after 4 weeks, you can contact them and have a light conversation. There are a few steps you need to do before actually contacting your ex. You'll easily find them in the materials I will give you (check the resources at the bottom of this article). Avoid talking about your past relationship. Don't ask your ex if they are dating someone new and don't brag about how many people you are sleeping with or dating (that's lame... only losers brag). Just keep it light while avoiding any arguments. Also, be cool and don't let them think you're desperate to see them.
Of course you should be sad! You are not a robot; it's okay to be depressed because of a breakup. We are talking about real emotions here, real memories wasted because of disagreements and irreconcilable differences. You should grieve about the breakup before you can finally truly get over it.What is unacceptable, however, is making it obvious to your ex how sad you are. If you're on the process of figuring out how to get your ex back, then you shouldn't be showing weakness and desperation in front of your ex. You can grieve, but grieve silently. Be depressed discreetly. Open up to a few trusted friends about the situation, but not to everyone.Did you know that almost all breakups involve a third party of some sort? It can be a very real possibility that your ex broke up with you because she already found someone else; she just didn't want the hassle of being called a "whore" or a "slut" by being together with two men at the same time, so she broke up with you. Not acting immediately to retrieve your lost relationship will only reduce your chances to zero. So, really, don't believe this hoopla about "being patient" or "giving it time". You have to act as soon as you've broken up.
That is not to say that you won't give your ex some space. You should, but only for a few days. When the dust has finally settled, try talking to her and telling her of your plan to get the relationship back. This will take her off guard and will stunt the possibility of her getting together with another guy.This is the biggest lie in the book in my opinion. We have mentioned already in the article that the main reason for breakups is a third party - if you let your ex-girlfriend see you seemingly happy on dates with someone else, then she will be convinced all the more that the breakup was for the better. She will then pursue her new relationship seeing that you've already moved on. So, in reality, this plan will backfire from the get go. Don't make her jealous - instead, show how committed and loyal you are to the relationship by not seeing other people
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