It's quite normal for you to have an intense desire to get back together with your wife or ex-girlfriend after she broke up with you. She was your best friend and the person that you cared about the most in this world. The rejection from having someone that close to you can be overwhelming and difficult to deal with emotionally. It has taken a toll on your male ego, your self-confidence and you are left with a giant hole in your life. Wanting to get her back in your life again as soon as possible is probably on your mind throughout most of your day. You should realize though that your attitude and how you deal with your ex is more important than any plan that you might hatch to get her back.
Most guys try all the tried and true methods that they are told will help them to convince their girlfriend to come back. You have probably already thought of trying to talk things through or promising that things will be different in order to change her heart. Of course, in case you didn't already know, these methods aren't going to get you anywhere. Unless your wife or girlfriend has a desire to work things out, these methods will only make her avoid your further. If you are guilty of trying to talk to her about getting back together or if you made some emotional plea for her to come back to you because you love her then you have done more damage than good. The only way that you are going to undo this damage is by giving her a little space and time. You should avoid trying to make contact with her and wait for her to connect with you again. It will happen but it's going to take a while. You can contact her again at some point if you want to but only once you have your life straightened out and you are feeling strong emotionally again.
Your primary focus now is to change how your ex-girlfriend or potential future ex-wife thinks about you. This is going to require you to change your general attitude towards her and women overall. What will this attitude be like? Your attitude should be one where you are unwilling to tolerate being talked down to or treated in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable. If your ex does make you feel uncomfortable or upset, you need to be willing ahead of time to walk away both from the relationship as well as the conversation. Always keep this in mind and remind yourself of this new attitude and it will be felt by your ex-girlfriend if not seen by her the next time she starts treating you poorly.
Try not to worry about how your girlfriend or wife is going to react. You might fear that by doing this she will think that you're done with the relationship or that you're just bluffing but you will be surprised. What you are actually doing is taking the power away from her in the relationship. What you're going to do from now on when she treats you poorly is to tell her quietly and in a matter of fact tone that she is not your girlfriend or your wife and that you don't have to listen to her garbage. You will turn away from her and literally walk away. This is what a man who has some self-confidence would do and it works. She will either come after you to apologize immediately or she will apologize at some point when she realizes that you're serious. Resist the temptation to listen to her if she comes after you and continues to yell at your or laugh at you. Once you have removed yourself from the situation on your own terms you will have passed her test and she will have gained some much needed respect for you as a man.
If you have been upset since your breakup there might be a chance that your ex has seen you cry. She might know that you're depressed about the breakup. In the future, you're not going to let your ex know anything about your life other than the fact that you are happy, loving life and ready to move on without her, if necessary. Without a word, you are rebuilding your life. You are happy and you have things that you want to do with your life as well as the strength to achieve these goals. Instead of holding onto that depressed personality and being sad about your breakup, you are happy with life and you're living life to the best of your ability.
You might worry that your ex-girlfriend or wife will take your new found confidence as a slap in the face. You might think that she will think that you don't care about her anymore or that you don't want her back. That's fine. Let her think that. Let her ask you about it. Life is for living and we all only have a certain number of days on this earth to live. If she wants to be a part of that life then that would be great but if not, you still have to be happy. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have everything that you ever desired in life. You're a new man. Never let her see you sweat and never let her see you cry.
This is your time to really plan out your life and begin to dream. You can still secretly include her in your dreams or even make plans based upon what the two of you used to dream but, for now, this is your life we're talking about. Write down some of the goals that you have for yourself. If you could live life on your terms, what would it look like. Don't hold anything back. Shoot for the stars. Write down exactly what you would do, who you would be doing it with and include every feeling, emotion and nuance that you can think of. Take this breakup as being a wake-up call. Losing your girlfriend or wife can give you the motivation to create a life that anyone in their right mind would be happy to be a part of and it's your life.
You will find that in relationships with women and in life, in general, your attitude has everything to do with your success. Women have an instinct for picking up how strong or weak a man is and they are always attracted to men that are confident and who have vision. People in general are attracted to others that are happy. This is just how we are wired. Once your ex realizes that she made a huge mistake about you and your relationship, she will want come back to you. Once she feels attracted to you again there will be no holding her back. Any obstacle that was in her way before will be gone. There will be no need to talk about the breakup and you won't have to change a thing about yourself. She will want to get back together and you will be the one to decide whether you want to continue the relationship or not.
Most guys try all the tried and true methods that they are told will help them to convince their girlfriend to come back. You have probably already thought of trying to talk things through or promising that things will be different in order to change her heart. Of course, in case you didn't already know, these methods aren't going to get you anywhere. Unless your wife or girlfriend has a desire to work things out, these methods will only make her avoid your further. If you are guilty of trying to talk to her about getting back together or if you made some emotional plea for her to come back to you because you love her then you have done more damage than good. The only way that you are going to undo this damage is by giving her a little space and time. You should avoid trying to make contact with her and wait for her to connect with you again. It will happen but it's going to take a while. You can contact her again at some point if you want to but only once you have your life straightened out and you are feeling strong emotionally again.
Your primary focus now is to change how your ex-girlfriend or potential future ex-wife thinks about you. This is going to require you to change your general attitude towards her and women overall. What will this attitude be like? Your attitude should be one where you are unwilling to tolerate being talked down to or treated in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable. If your ex does make you feel uncomfortable or upset, you need to be willing ahead of time to walk away both from the relationship as well as the conversation. Always keep this in mind and remind yourself of this new attitude and it will be felt by your ex-girlfriend if not seen by her the next time she starts treating you poorly.
Try not to worry about how your girlfriend or wife is going to react. You might fear that by doing this she will think that you're done with the relationship or that you're just bluffing but you will be surprised. What you are actually doing is taking the power away from her in the relationship. What you're going to do from now on when she treats you poorly is to tell her quietly and in a matter of fact tone that she is not your girlfriend or your wife and that you don't have to listen to her garbage. You will turn away from her and literally walk away. This is what a man who has some self-confidence would do and it works. She will either come after you to apologize immediately or she will apologize at some point when she realizes that you're serious. Resist the temptation to listen to her if she comes after you and continues to yell at your or laugh at you. Once you have removed yourself from the situation on your own terms you will have passed her test and she will have gained some much needed respect for you as a man.
If you have been upset since your breakup there might be a chance that your ex has seen you cry. She might know that you're depressed about the breakup. In the future, you're not going to let your ex know anything about your life other than the fact that you are happy, loving life and ready to move on without her, if necessary. Without a word, you are rebuilding your life. You are happy and you have things that you want to do with your life as well as the strength to achieve these goals. Instead of holding onto that depressed personality and being sad about your breakup, you are happy with life and you're living life to the best of your ability.
You might worry that your ex-girlfriend or wife will take your new found confidence as a slap in the face. You might think that she will think that you don't care about her anymore or that you don't want her back. That's fine. Let her think that. Let her ask you about it. Life is for living and we all only have a certain number of days on this earth to live. If she wants to be a part of that life then that would be great but if not, you still have to be happy. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have everything that you ever desired in life. You're a new man. Never let her see you sweat and never let her see you cry.
This is your time to really plan out your life and begin to dream. You can still secretly include her in your dreams or even make plans based upon what the two of you used to dream but, for now, this is your life we're talking about. Write down some of the goals that you have for yourself. If you could live life on your terms, what would it look like. Don't hold anything back. Shoot for the stars. Write down exactly what you would do, who you would be doing it with and include every feeling, emotion and nuance that you can think of. Take this breakup as being a wake-up call. Losing your girlfriend or wife can give you the motivation to create a life that anyone in their right mind would be happy to be a part of and it's your life.
You will find that in relationships with women and in life, in general, your attitude has everything to do with your success. Women have an instinct for picking up how strong or weak a man is and they are always attracted to men that are confident and who have vision. People in general are attracted to others that are happy. This is just how we are wired. Once your ex realizes that she made a huge mistake about you and your relationship, she will want come back to you. Once she feels attracted to you again there will be no holding her back. Any obstacle that was in her way before will be gone. There will be no need to talk about the breakup and you won't have to change a thing about yourself. She will want to get back together and you will be the one to decide whether you want to continue the relationship or not.
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