Love and Relationships

                                         Saying "I love you" isn't.........?

Saying "I love you" isn't the only way to let someone know how you feel. Here are some verbal and non-verbal ways to express your feelings.

Verbal Expressions

 Pay him or her a compliment. A sincere compliment from the heart can be a subtle way of letting your loved one know how much you admire him or her. Pick out a nice physical feature (eyes and smile are always solid choices), personality trait or action to highlight. Whatever you choose, it should be something that makes the recipient feel happy and worthy

 Express consideration. Part of loving someone is wanting what's best for him or her. You can highlight this attitude by asking after your loved one's welfare. For instance, if you know he or she had a hard day yesterday, quietly ask how today is going. If you're running an errand, ask if you can pick up anything for your loved one while you're out. If he or she is facing a particularly difficult situation, communicate that you'd be glad to help out in anyway you can. Using your words to show how much you care can go a long way.

Say "I love you". While you don't necessarily have to do this, it is the clearest way of communicating that you love someone. Here are some tips on making the experience more meaningful:

• Do it in person. Telling someone you love them over text, email or IM doesn't have the same impact as actually saying it out loud. If you can't handle being in that person's presence as you say it, do it over the phone.
•  
• Manage your expectations. Don't let the experience hinge on whether or not the other person says it back. You should be saying it because you want to let him or her know how you feel, not because you need validation or expect something in return. Focus on being happy that you're able to express your feelings and make someone else feel admired.
•  
• Pick the right time. Ideally, the moment that you tell someone you love them should be intimate and free of interruption. Pick a setting in which you can express yourself without feeling embarrassed or worried about someone else intruding.
•  
• Keep the conversation low-pressure. Some people might see an "I love you" as indicating a higher level of commitment. Don't automatically assume the other person is ready to take the relationship to a closer level. Instead, preface your words by saying that you're not asking for anything in return and that you don't want the other person to feel pressured. This will help him or her enjoy the moment without worrying about what might be coming next.
•  
• Maintain eye contact. It might seem terrifying to look into his or her eyes while you spill your guts, but try to do it. It will make you seem more honest and sincere, as well as enhancing the closeness of the moment.
•  
• Don't allow an awkward silence. If the person you adore is quiet after your confession, find a way to start up normal conversation again. Say something like, "You don't have to say anything back. I'm just happy I could let you know how I feel" and carry on as usual. If a reply is coming, it will happen in its own time.

Non Verbal Expressions

Write a nice letter. You don't have to explicitly write "I love you" in the note, but you can outline the things you admire about the other person. A lot of people prefer to write down their feelings because it allows you time to revise your words so that they're just right.

• If possible, write your feelings down with a pen and paper instead of on a computer. Your unique handwriting adds a personal touch to the letter, and he or she might like to have a physical object that represents your feelings.
• Before you start, write a small brainstorm of all the things you like or admire about him or her. Note close experiences you've shared, or things that remind you of the other person.
• Grab a good sheet of paper. If you don't have stationary lying around, use copy paper - it will look neater than note paper.

Make eye contact. Whenever you can, meet the other person's eyes. Don't stare after him or her constantly, but do allow yourself to be caught looking at his or her face once in a while. When you've been detected, smile a little bit and hold the gaze for another second before looking away.

Show your feelings through your actions. Non-verbal cues can count for a lot, and allow someone to see how you feel without putting yourself out there too much. Here are some possibilities:

• Smile. The best thing you can do is also the easiest - throw your loved one a sincere smile whenever you can. Whenever you do, try to hold his or her eyes for slightly longer than a second.
• Make your body language seem receptive. A side effect of being nervous around this person might be that your body language seems closed off or unapproachable. Try to reverse this by keeping your arms unfolded, and your arms loose at your sides or clasped behind your back. Turn your body toward the other person when you're talking to them, including your feet. Incline your head toward them when you make eye contact.
• Don't worry about blushing. You can't control when you blush anyway, but if you find yourself doing it around him or her, just go with it. In a way, a blush is a useful signal to the other person letting them know how you feel - so let it do its work!
• Wink. If you can manage it, try to throw him or her a sly wink every now and then. Don't do it too often - no more than once every few days.