My mind is dripping with paint. Colours casted all over the never-ending canvas of my mind. Mixing. Swirling. Blasted with unique colour. How rare for a mind that was stripped of true colour not so long ago...one that was burdened by the darkest of blacks and the distance between those dark shades and white. There had been only that. Nothing except that. There are gorgeous and intricate portraits of memories that unfold like streamers in my mind. I used to curse these endless reels of tape falling from the ceilings. They'd play over and over in my mind again. Moments. Memories. Feelings. Laughter. My mind felt bogged down by their presence. I truly attempted to control the uncontrollable nature of them, only to find that once a flutter of wind came by they'd unravel time upon time.
This was the story about a man great suffering. Regret. Hurt. Fear.
A damaging force within himself controlled by the sour producing of life's greatest demons and tests. A type of man who feared the honest answers, the true, and to stand up for what really beckoned deep within his heart and drove his ambitions. A person demolished by a force burning him to death from a wild cold that froze even glimmers of any warmth within the caves of his heart. I was the kind of man who gripped on too tight to what existed, strangling whatever was to the point of exhaustion. My grip was harsh, turning things to dust, allowing them to sift through my fingers. My hands callused from building walls and fending off barbarians of love.
I was the type of man whose heavy hands were beaten to a pulp by his efforts to grasp onto things that really needed to change, only to find that there's an inability to manipulate what must shift. The agony that was created from watching the inescapable changing of things only brought more fear, more darkness, more pain.
I was that sort of man, at one time.
One day I decided to let go. Of everything. All that I feared, all that I adored. Everything in that moment, became much lighter. I made an effort to deeply believe that all would arrive in time, that love would make its way, lessons would show up at my stoop and I could actually begin to live.
I let the streamers, oh those beautiful tapestries of my mind unfold as they wished, floating around the expansive room of my thoughts with liberty and grace. I started to walk amongst their wonderful colours appreciating their complexities and depth. In turn, I granted myself the opportunity for tapping into what was divine within my soul. I commenced to chat to the heavens and rather than living in steady agony, I just lived, giving up existing for something far grander.
But amongst it all, I became the kind of man that might be dripping with colour and could watch everything go. I could hold others with open palms so they were free to fly. I could grin at things that once caused me discomfort. My hands, despite their strength, became light. I became softer. My words became deeper. My feelings became stronger. And with all that, the intensity of the looks I gave others became engulfed with enthusiasm. I stopped looking at others and looked into them.
I once was the sort of man who suffered constantly.
Now, I have become the sort of man who suffers, and with that, loves deeply.
I am moving on with a full heart.
This was the story about a man great suffering. Regret. Hurt. Fear.
A damaging force within himself controlled by the sour producing of life's greatest demons and tests. A type of man who feared the honest answers, the true, and to stand up for what really beckoned deep within his heart and drove his ambitions. A person demolished by a force burning him to death from a wild cold that froze even glimmers of any warmth within the caves of his heart. I was the kind of man who gripped on too tight to what existed, strangling whatever was to the point of exhaustion. My grip was harsh, turning things to dust, allowing them to sift through my fingers. My hands callused from building walls and fending off barbarians of love.
I was the type of man whose heavy hands were beaten to a pulp by his efforts to grasp onto things that really needed to change, only to find that there's an inability to manipulate what must shift. The agony that was created from watching the inescapable changing of things only brought more fear, more darkness, more pain.
I was that sort of man, at one time.
One day I decided to let go. Of everything. All that I feared, all that I adored. Everything in that moment, became much lighter. I made an effort to deeply believe that all would arrive in time, that love would make its way, lessons would show up at my stoop and I could actually begin to live.
I let the streamers, oh those beautiful tapestries of my mind unfold as they wished, floating around the expansive room of my thoughts with liberty and grace. I started to walk amongst their wonderful colours appreciating their complexities and depth. In turn, I granted myself the opportunity for tapping into what was divine within my soul. I commenced to chat to the heavens and rather than living in steady agony, I just lived, giving up existing for something far grander.
But amongst it all, I became the kind of man that might be dripping with colour and could watch everything go. I could hold others with open palms so they were free to fly. I could grin at things that once caused me discomfort. My hands, despite their strength, became light. I became softer. My words became deeper. My feelings became stronger. And with all that, the intensity of the looks I gave others became engulfed with enthusiasm. I stopped looking at others and looked into them.
I once was the sort of man who suffered constantly.
Now, I have become the sort of man who suffers, and with that, loves deeply.
I am moving on with a full heart.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more content to help you move forward with your life having your heart broken or being dumped? Try out these letting go quotes for some help. Trust me, they are good.
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