How to Make Someone Fall Back in Love With You
If you've found this article, I have to assume that your
relationship has either broken up or you feel it is heading that way and
you want to stop this trend before the phrase "divorce" or "break up"
is mentioned. The good news is that since you're researching how to
improve your relationship and regain the spark, you've already shown the
initiative you need to save the relationship (relationships can be
saved when only one person in interested in saving it).
This article is based on my own experience and endless research I conducted when I was able to save my own marriage. I know first hand that getting someone to fall back in love with you is possible. It just requires a series of small, calculated steps designed to elicit positive feelings about you from your spouse to restore the initial feelings that attracted him or her to you in the first place.
Why People "Fall Out Of Love": There are many reasons for this. Although most people feel that partners, boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses fall out of love because of infidelity or someone else, (or external circumstances that drive your loved one away), this is rarely true. Although cheating and other things can be a symptom of losing intimacy, they are often not the cause. More often than not, the cause of falling out of love is the loss of the feelings that you elicit in your loved one about themselves. Yes, you read that right. Themselves. I know that you may think it's all about you, but usually it is really all about them.
When people first fall in love, it's because they are flooded with positive feelings when they are around you. This makes them feel attractive, competent, desirable, unique, and compelling. Let's be honest. When you were first courting your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife, you probably lavished the same attention and affection that they used to lavish on you. The result was that the strength and intensity of the relationship reflected the time and effort you put into it.
Inevitably, over time though, you needed to again pay attention to your job, your other friends, and the obligations that life requires of you. It's perfectly natural to eventually devote less time to a relationship as it becomes stronger and longer lasting. Almost everyone does this, but over time, this can leave your relationship vulnerable. Eventually, this lack of time and effort can cause your loved one to feel (sometimes unconsciously) let down, disappointed, and neglected. The good feelings about themselves that you used to bring out in them are now gone and they don't like this void. Eventually, the feelings and emotions your loved one feels when he is around you are more negative than positive. Over time, feeling more negative feelings and less positive ones contribute to someone "falling out of love."
How To Get The Original Feelings Back: The course of action you need to take the get the feelings to return will depend greatly on the state and status of your relationship right now. If you're already broken up and your loved one is not receptive to you, this process will require more steps, but it is by no means impossible. If you're still in the relationship, you'll have an easier time because you have a more captive audience.
Your goal is, step by step, and over time to restore the positive feelings your partner used to associate with you and therefore themselves. The catch is that you can't be overtly obvious about this. If anything you're doing comes off as game playing or fake, your partner is going to just be less receptive to you than before.
In order to do this, you can not put pressure on your partner because this will bring out negative feelings. This means you shouldn't beg, repeatedly question, debate with, push their buttons, follow or initiate continuous conversation with them, or flood their inbox with emails or their phone with text messages.
You need to change your tact to become someone who is light hearted, fun, intriguing, and a reflection of the person they first fell in love with.
Once you've presented this person in a believable way and your partner is receptive to you and the positive feelings have returned, you can then work on addressing the problems that contributed to or the symptoms of "falling out of love." However, you shouldn't attempt to do this until you're absolutely sure you're back on solid ground. If you move too early, this could drive them further away.
This article is based on my own experience and endless research I conducted when I was able to save my own marriage. I know first hand that getting someone to fall back in love with you is possible. It just requires a series of small, calculated steps designed to elicit positive feelings about you from your spouse to restore the initial feelings that attracted him or her to you in the first place.
Why People "Fall Out Of Love": There are many reasons for this. Although most people feel that partners, boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses fall out of love because of infidelity or someone else, (or external circumstances that drive your loved one away), this is rarely true. Although cheating and other things can be a symptom of losing intimacy, they are often not the cause. More often than not, the cause of falling out of love is the loss of the feelings that you elicit in your loved one about themselves. Yes, you read that right. Themselves. I know that you may think it's all about you, but usually it is really all about them.
When people first fall in love, it's because they are flooded with positive feelings when they are around you. This makes them feel attractive, competent, desirable, unique, and compelling. Let's be honest. When you were first courting your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife, you probably lavished the same attention and affection that they used to lavish on you. The result was that the strength and intensity of the relationship reflected the time and effort you put into it.
Inevitably, over time though, you needed to again pay attention to your job, your other friends, and the obligations that life requires of you. It's perfectly natural to eventually devote less time to a relationship as it becomes stronger and longer lasting. Almost everyone does this, but over time, this can leave your relationship vulnerable. Eventually, this lack of time and effort can cause your loved one to feel (sometimes unconsciously) let down, disappointed, and neglected. The good feelings about themselves that you used to bring out in them are now gone and they don't like this void. Eventually, the feelings and emotions your loved one feels when he is around you are more negative than positive. Over time, feeling more negative feelings and less positive ones contribute to someone "falling out of love."
How To Get The Original Feelings Back: The course of action you need to take the get the feelings to return will depend greatly on the state and status of your relationship right now. If you're already broken up and your loved one is not receptive to you, this process will require more steps, but it is by no means impossible. If you're still in the relationship, you'll have an easier time because you have a more captive audience.
Your goal is, step by step, and over time to restore the positive feelings your partner used to associate with you and therefore themselves. The catch is that you can't be overtly obvious about this. If anything you're doing comes off as game playing or fake, your partner is going to just be less receptive to you than before.
In order to do this, you can not put pressure on your partner because this will bring out negative feelings. This means you shouldn't beg, repeatedly question, debate with, push their buttons, follow or initiate continuous conversation with them, or flood their inbox with emails or their phone with text messages.
You need to change your tact to become someone who is light hearted, fun, intriguing, and a reflection of the person they first fell in love with.
Once you've presented this person in a believable way and your partner is receptive to you and the positive feelings have returned, you can then work on addressing the problems that contributed to or the symptoms of "falling out of love." However, you shouldn't attempt to do this until you're absolutely sure you're back on solid ground. If you move too early, this could drive them further away.
No comments:
Post a Comment