Marriages take work. Sometimes
it can even be difficult and your spouse can take the life out of you. When
you're constantly fighting, when you're not attracted to your spouse anymore,
when you feel neglected, or when an affair happens, the most common thing
couples do today is get a divorce. In the United States, when a couple gets
married, there's a fifty-fifty chance that the marriage will end in divorce.
In today's modern world,
people are so busy with their individual lives and careers that taking time to
sit down and work on a marriage is no longer an option. Divorce has become so
accepted in Western cultures that it has become a normal phase in one's life.
But divorce, no matter how common, is the second most devastating thing to
happen to anyone, next to the death of a spouse.
When you decide to get a
divorce, you have an idealized vision of what your life will be without that
person. You think that your life will be so much better once your spouse is out
of your life and you become single again. You hope to find someone else who
will love you better and that you'll live happily ever after. However, the
grass is never greener on the other side, contrary to what you might think.
Even if the divorce may be a
mutual decision between you and your spouse, it causes a world of chaos and
pain to the both of you. If you have kids, you sometimes don't take their well
being into consideration. Divorce affects them as much or even more as it
affects you. If you still have love for each other, then maybe divorce is not
the answer. All marriages have rough patches, but it doesn't mean you should
give up that easily just because divorce is so available.
Before the documents are filed
and before one of you moves out of the house, consider giving the marriage
another try. You owe it your past and the love that you once had to at least do
something before you make that decision. As soon as you know that your marriage
may be heading towards that path, seek help immediately. You can get couples
counseling, talk to your pastor or priest, or even seek help from friends and family.
Try to remember your good times, look at your old photographs, read your old
love letters etc. Do things that will make you remember and feel the love that
you once had. And if these don't work, ask your spouse to put the divorce on
hold. Take this time in making your spouse fall in love with you again. Divorce
is not only painful and costly, but most of the time it isn't even necessary.
By Rondle Tomsen
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